I am writing the worst script I have ever written. Hands down. Writers often do this, we are to self critical, but I don’t think this is that. I truely believe that this is the worst peiece of work that I have ever done. Even worse than my first venture into this journey.
So what is to blame? What is going on? Why is it that my writing has taken a step in the wrong direction. I would like to think that it is the new job, but I think that is to easy an explination. Perhaps I am just having trouble adjusting to a new life schdule. After all a lot has happened in the last few months. Lost a girl friend, moved back home, a new job than a pretty serious promotion. Much has happened in the last few weeks.

I’ve never not finished a peiece of work. I think that is an injustice and starts a dangerous pattern. This script will get done. I fear however that it will never be read by any eyes but my own and if so as a reminder of what not to do.

This is a challenging time in my life as a writer. A confusing time. Not to whine but I would have hopped my life was in more order at 27 but nothing could be futher from true. I am still as confused and lost as I was fresh out of college and I am starting to wonder if the feeling will ever go away.

Enough blathering…time to get back to work…

It’s true what they say. What do they say you ask? They say that if you stop doing something you get bad at it. I find it a terribly fantastic thing, how universal this theme is. It is everywhere. If you don’t practice it, it gets harder. Nothing is more true when it comes to writing.

Days off are killers. Write something everyday. Even if it is painful, even if it is a god awful peace of crap. Had a long day? Write. Got free time? Why not write? It’s what i am going to have to get back to. I have to make time for writing now, and it is really hard. What I am finding out is that if I don’t write, at least something every day, the days that I do have a chance to do some serious work are tremendously tedious. I am brushing up against all the days I haven’t written a thing. It would be like a weight lifter going out and lifting for 2 hours without working out for months. It’s just not smart.

What happens is you get antsy. You know you have limited time and you should be writing but you can’t seem to get a grip on anything. Like all the ideas you’ve had all week, all the prep work for a script is dead, or meaningless. Its a sinking feeling. Something I do not like. I aim to fix this. I am to write. I am to work around the job I have to do to get better at the job I want to do. I will not let it kill what I am.

So it’s been a while. A couple of things have come up and have made me a busy person. For starters I just got promoted at my job! I skipped a position so it’s a pretty big deal. They will be flying me out to California sometime next year for a month of training. It’s all pretty exciting.

Enough of that, I have been working on the first full length script that I ever wrote a lot recently. It’s interesting, things seem to be falling in place pretty smoothly. I suppose it’s true that the longer you let something seethe on a shelf the easier it is to work on. After that I will return to some other stuff, or start something new. I only get a few days to write a week now, and in those days I get only a couple of hours, so I have to make the most of it.

I hope to write more blog posts, it will help me from getting rusty. I also find the act of writing to space pretty soothing it is mainly why I started doing this.

Oh and, Happy Halloween!

My new job is killing my ability to write. There I said it.

Here I am at the great devide that all artists find themselves: The quest for creative freedom vs. the need for monetary fulfillment. I need to eat. I need shelter. To get these things I need money. The question is have I sacrificed to much? Has my balance been skewed? Shifted from a focus on my writing to one on a carrier in which the only true reward I receive is a bi-weekly paycheck.

What to do?

I know I need the money, that’s a given, and I know I need to write more, but how to make the two mesh better? It seems that whenever I have time off, I am so damned exhausted from my current job that I can’t seem to muster up the energy to write. Days are wasting away. Soon I will be 27 years old, and I have yet to achieve any kind of real success at doing something I want to do, instead of something I have to.

One thing is for sure, I have always been a creative person. It is a part of me that I can not get rid of. There is no job out there that will kill that desire, but the one I have certainly is trying its best.

Ok, so I have been away for a few weeks, and here is why: A new Job. That’s right, I went out and finally got myself a new job, and it has for the most part taken over my life. I am working 40 plus hours a week in a super fast paced environment, and in turn my writing has taken a back seat. Soon though, I intend to find a way to get back to the thing I love to do. I have to, my ideas are starting to gnaw at my mind.

An update: I did not win any of the competitions that I submitted my scripts to. At first I was a little upset, but now I am at ease with it, it makes me want to work that much harder. In a way rejection is a writers best friend. I did however recieve some posative feedback from one of my readers notes  in which he called the premise of After the Bomb, “brilliant”, and that made me smile.

This past Saturday evening I turned in the screenplay After The Bomb©. Set in 1958 Chicago, this story centers around detective Collin McDuff, and his quest to save a kidnapped child. Set in a backdrop with goblins, elves, and giant trolls (yes you read that right) this story is a mash up of ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’, ‘The Lord of the Rings’, and ‘L.A. confidential’. It is a zany story and is one I have been working on for months (excerpt to come). After more revisions than I can count, and sleepless nights at my computer typing furiously away I have finally gotten to a point where I can look at the script and say it is ‘satisfactory’.

I was elated to turn in this screenplay, but did so with some trepidation. I am my harshest critic after all. Originally I had intended to submit three screenplays but as time marched on I realized it was better to turn in one that I thought was the best, then turn in three that were mediocre.

So what happens now? Well, don’t hold your breath. If I read the competition rules right (and they are kind of confusing), I will not find out anything until…wait for it…February of next year!! In that time I very much plan to continue to write. My next script, already completed is going onto the chopping block for some good ol rehashing.

Comming soon:

An excerpt from After The Bomb. Character Bios for: Collin Mcduff, Aleanna, and Patrick! Also, a short story or two featuring some of my favorite characters in the screenplay.